Gains and Losses

This year has been a very difficult year for me. I had to do everything on my own. I have learned SO much, way more than I ever thought I could in one year but it happened. I lost many friends, and I gained so many new ones. Some changes included loss of a family member, gain of a best friend, loss of a best friend, gain a new hobby, loss of a hobby. I can never seem to just let things go but this summer I made a big change to give it all up. I LOVE memories and that is a big problem for me because sometimes you need to just let some go. They are no benefit to me. EXCEPT THE GOOD ONES OF COURSE!

• My Grandpa. This was a very hard thing for me to let go. I am not a "let go" person. I keep things in. My parents visited me at school to see me perform with the Colorguard at my first football game and when they told me goodbye they mentioned to me that he had Cancer, and it was already spreading. They estimated that he would live only about 3-4 more months. We visited him as many times as we could and I remember the very last night I got to see him. I knew it would be the last time and I was absolutely heartbroken. I remember sitting by him in his chair watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and he started asking questions about me and how my year was going at school. I told him as much as could including I performed in the play Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as August Gloope. (If you don't know who that is, he is the fat boy. lol) I made him laugh and I suprised him by eating liver he cooked. I would've done anything for him that night. All the other family members left that night and while my dad, sisters and I left I made sure I was the last one to leave his house and give him that one last hug. I turned around and left, walking out to the car I stated tearing up (thank goodness it was dark outside) Before I got in the car I saw him standing outside his door on his porch waving to us, just like he did everytime we left his house. He died about a week later. My dad called me right before I was going to go to a play for a class and I immediately went up to my best friend Katie and just let it all out. She is some one I gained this year unknowingly at first, but I just knew we were supposed to be friends.
• Katie Gale. I love Katie Gale. She is one of my best friends. One time we got in a fight and Chad made us go talk to each other and when we saw each other we just burst into tears...and thats when you know its a real friendship. I definitely lost a best friend due to roomate issues this year, but I let that go real fast when I knew God had plans for me. Katie is an awesome Goodwill hunter and baker, cosmetologist and colorguard gal lol. Without her I probably would have shot myself during band camp lol. She is moving to Washington this year and I am so happy for her but I am NEVER going to lose touch because we are awesome. Plain and simple. She's the best and one of the bestest friends ever! My wish came true at the VSU fountain! (inside joke)

There are a lot more gains and losses but virtually...I just don't have time :) I miss my grandpa, but I know he would want me to do well in school and finish out my plans that I wrote to him! And Katie, you're still one of my BFFs, you'll never be replaced hun. 

RIP Pawpaw Russell.