Fighting, Feelings, Love and Life

Fighting definitely is not a way of choice for me. I hate loud arguing. I hate loud anything. Being here at home has changed a lot of things here for me and Chad's relationship. Both in a good way and in a bad way. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but being here so far away has put a lot of stress on the both of us. Mostly me. Im in the middle (almost done) with my summer course, Im struggling with money (or so Ive been told) and Im just honestly wanting to get away from this place as fast as I can. I love everyone here, I do, but I feel like staying here for a full 3 months after being at school for 9 months is just stressful. I'm not used to having to clean my room or do the dishes again. It's weird. Anyway the point of this blog was, me and Chad got into a fight tonight.

Feelings. I was horrified. I got too upset and we never get into fights. I was on the phone all day with the financial aid lady (who was rude and didn't help me) and I had to take a test online which made me nervous and I'm no fun when Im nervous. And on top of that, it just wasn't a good day. So I took it out on him because I haven't heard from him all day, or yesterday. And I shouldn't have. He's such a fun and bubbly person and I felt bad for hurting him and hes sorry for hurting me too. I just didn't think that a place could transform a different person out of me almost. But its funny because the argument lasted about 15 minutes and then we were crawling back to each other because that's what love is.

Love . We never want to just give up on each other. One of our pinky promises to each other was to never go to sleep angry. I will admit, I went to sleep angry about 2 nights this summer, and I woke up to 54 calls from "Chad Bungy" and I felt awful afterwords. But the point of this is to show what love is. It never is something that you put stress on. It comes oh so naturally. I am lucky enough to find my one last guy you know?

Life is all about making choices and decisions. Growing up without fear and showing courage. That's like, love. To me I think that to love, you shouldn't fear. Everything comes at a distance pace. God sees everything in a time standstill. He knows everything. So why rush things. Why fear? Why worry? God takes care of me and everyone else. When you live yor life, you shouldn't fear. I admit I do have that problem. I got stung by a jellyfish once and now its hard for me to get too deep in the ocean. Bad example...but same concept. I shouldn't let past experiences make me worry about this relationship. Or any other relationship in the future, like friendship. Just because something went wrong last year doesn't mean anything will g wrong this year. See where I am coming from? The one thing I do not approach with fear is Chad, as everyone else should do with their significant others. For me, love doesn't come and go. It stays forever. And I mean that. There's a lot more that I am missing and a lot more I could ramble on but I won't to spare my homework time. But I am glad people enjoy reading my blogs otherwise you wouldn't, and I hope yall live yurrr livess without fearrr yalll. :) Have a great night!

 (c) Sara Warren